whaddup

it's ike being exposed to the un exposed....
the thoughts aren't free ....

somehow, the idea of freedom and live free is the greatest moment and should be cherished...
'menyesakkan' and somehow 'sesak betol'...

the idea of un'free' life were really scary,huh...

the idea of need to always be asked and pretenders were really scary...
the tiredness of 'menyesakkan'...
unhappiness moments aand 'sesak' whenever that thoughts came in...


unhappiness...
whenever the hypocrites ...
and 'duh, do i really need to entertain this??''

why???
why we really need to act like..hmm...it's okay...
or...guess that playing nice girl and down to earth was cool, huh???

the feeling of ''hmm..is this really can be true??''
" or fake???''
because honesty doesn't seem to shine through...
and seem like i'm pleading guilty...

the thinking always make the idea seem a bit worse...
but then, we're getting used to it...

don't force them..
but try to understand...
see the good that will overcome the bad...

fate??
luck??
or what the @#$@$#....

'when it comes to telling the truth and nothing but the truth...


well, the truth hurts!!!really...

cantiknye dia...

cantiknye gambar kawen my Form 3 classmate...
dia mmg ternyata sweet and cantik...
ape yg lebih cantik adlh keperibadian dia yg really 'down to earth'....
tahniah utk Puan N...
hehe

looking back at those stupid things that we've done at school..
klakar...

then, we go on separate ways...

hehe

Friends really help you...
in a way that u're comfortable...
i chose to find advices from frens...
really good frens...
hehe

i've got severe headache, today...

my headache is so painful that i feel like thre was a huge rock being put on my head...
the tense that being felt ...
making a slightest movement of the head became difficult...
pain + tense = no pills ivolved...

all i can do is just lie down to minimize the pain...

doc said ' sleep!!!'

apart from sleeping, being with your loved one really can help....

what the???

s.E
one week

K
approx 2 weeks...

H
1 day

life is ...misery
i like M. Nasir...hahaha..

lagu kotak hati-hujan

currently been listening to...
kotak hati by hujan..

tak usah kau terangkan ku tahu
potret wajahmu di setiap penjuru
curahkan deritamu padaku
biarku rasa apa yang kau lalu
terang terangbersama rasa sayangku
biarkan kau terbangterang terang
sudut kecil ku isi
untuk senyuman mu lagi
berbaring renung kita ke bulan
lagu yang ku tulis ku
cinta tentang kita berdua
yang kan kita kenangi hingga tiba masa
terang terangbersama rasa
sayangku biarkan kau terbang
terang terangsudut kecil ku isi
untuk senyuman mu lagi
mimpi mimpiyang tak kembali
aku janjijanji takkan pergi
tak usah kau terangkan ku tahu
potret wajahmu di setiap penjuru
curahkan deritamu padaku
biarku rasa apa yang kau lalu
terang terangbersama rasa
sayangku biarkan kau terbang
terang terangsudut kecil ku isi
untuk senyuman mu lagimimpi
mimpiyang tak kembali
aku janji
janji takkan pergi

ten things to be happy

today eventhough it is monday...
1

monday blues...but, i'm happy....
2

i just got my 'gigi bongsu dicabut'....sakit and pain a lil bit...
but then, i'm happy.....
3

i was being observed by the senior science teacher...
class went well...students were okay...
i'm happy....

4

i talked to my mum about khai...
about i didn't quite comfortable with him...
and guess that it's the END...
i'm happy...
5

rite now, i'm hungry bcos i just ate a burger before i went to the dentist...
i'm happy...
6
reading the comment left by khai that saying why u were so happy?
well, bcos i see things as a happy moments....
then, i'm happy...

i learned from the best that happy is what u choose...
what u want to intepret ur life....

whether wanna chose a happpy thought or not....


7

i'm not that desperade to be with u...
i see myself as single is okay...
and i was cherished with lotsa love from family n frens...

8
my july test paper is done...
i'm happy...

9
my convocation letter just arrived...
hmm, that's the biggest reason i'm happy...
got job and convo..

10
bcos there is no other reason to be happy enough...
my UM lifestyle thought me of being happy always...
so, i'm happy...

hahahahahahahhahhhaha

my cuti

voluntering playing and singing songs to the nieces...
ok..
girls...
which songs???
-the teletubbies.
-ultraman tiga
hima haru giroo...hima tata yoooo..
-tom tom bak
menari menyanyi...
mari tom tom bak dgn kami
-geng bas sekolah
yg pandai bertek wando ...namanya
namanya meili..
lalala...
kamilah geng
geng geng bas sekolah...

-bob the builder
-twinklelittle stars

guess that their all time favourite was teletubbies...
whether it is rock or slow version...haha...
ati: nak version ape?
pa ah: rock..or lurus (she means slow) hehe...

tinky winky..dipsy..lala..po...

teletubbies...
say hello..H E L L O!!!

what was i thinking???

wednesday..3rd of JUne...

what was i thinking..
hmm...
the stupid stuff that deliberately happen..
pdot knows about this..and guess that...huaaa..sumpah tanak wat lagi...
huahahhaha...

but ..it was the chapter...
the chapter or maybe the subtopic that accidentally happenn....
lessons learned...

the day after....
ok...thanks..take care...

sugar loves cookies

lagu best saat ini...
sugar loves cookies-kau dan aku...
sempoi ...

finally...a yey relieve...

yesterday..
they were behave good and really good...
i am so relieved...

the idea is just to give them basic knowledge...
and let it flow slow and easy...

and somehow...
we have to think like them ones in a while..

thanks...
and thanks...

the trademark that so far being labeled..

-hip hip...
-"shuffle sket..."
-yo yo yo....
-'pegi gig tak?'

lawak sungguh...
hehehe

first celebration of the celebration

today...

i am forced to be mad and scream at the kids...
then, i looked so damn stupid and sweat all over...
in the end, they just ignore...
ignore and rude....

how to help this rude guys?
hmm, don't know....

why we can't be happy and happy,huh...

the surrounding that make u do much and do much...
then, it'll always be talked and talked behind ur back..
damn...

harsh...
harsh girl..
u said one sentence..and it struck straight to the heart...
adoii....
maybe u've been brought up like that.....
or u're just so damn rude...
try damn hard to be nice and this is what u get...
damn again....

the angry me .."aku yang marah"

i'm in angry mode....

why am i so damn angry..???
bcos my head dept said that u have to be strict
and scream ur lungs out at them...

and i ...
don't know to scream...
or just trying to be xtra nice and refuse...

and in the end...
the worry much me..
the thinking like hell me...
think..
and kept thinking...

damn...
i should have done so....

nuthead...
bugger...
@@$#$#@

stupidoes.....

arggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh
argggghhhhhhhhhhhh
arrrrrrrrggggggghh

give me some time

give me some precious time....
give me some precious advices...
help and never let my hand go....
help and guide..
guide and try to gave me a helping hand....

slow 'L'......
what did i have to do?
ignore and just ignore....
help and help with selected topics....
i guess that should be it...
concentrate on selected topics and "damn"
i'm a behaviourist....

reality bites and that's the reality....
we r trying so damn hard....
but.... that's just it...
be diligent and strong will.....

i just don't know
what to do with myself.
don't know just what todo with my self
going to the movies nananana
nanana nanana
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
warghhhhhhh....
@##$#@#
@#$#%#

hey dude!!!
stop thinking to much...
stop worry much...
and please ...
hang on....
NEver giVe UP!!!!!!

why the hell did i wrote this???

huh...

it's been some time since my last note...
the thing is that life has goes on and on....

now, being the inspire people...u have to be strong....
diligent....
never gonna give up...

now, i know...
my lecturer once said that...
u r only human...

today u are energetic and have all the will to do as much as u can...
tomorrow, might be too tired and just wanna do as little thing as u can...

i'm trying as much as i can to "not" blaming the instituition...
the previous instituition and "now" instituition...

it's just that..me being so damn strict face ...
with that strict face..
it's just 'so not me'
but i just have to be pretenders...
maybe now is the time for me to start act..
act strong...
act strict...
be angry and shout out louDDDD!!!!
act and act that u care!!!!



damn!!!

the undomestic goddess

by sophie kinsella

a great story that tell u to stopdoing what u think u're good at doing it....
Samantha Sweeting ,from the A-list lawyer have turn to be a domestic goddess...The kind of life that she doesn't kinda familiar...how to use an iron or any household electrical appliances...
She has one shot of being a partner in carter Spink...then, she knew what she want exactly..the kind of busy life and famous or just an easy life where she have her weekends..

it start from she celebrated her birthday all by herself when her brother and mum were so busy with their career...
life as a lawyer when a day was being separated by 6-minutes chunk...
9.00-9.06...9.06-9.12....
it was so funny...the writer tells the story with wit and humours ...

Samantha was somehow cheated her cv when she told that she was a cordon-bleu chef...
thanx to her friend, lady edgerly...

Then, of course she fall in love with the gardener who somehow show her the reality and how to appreciate her weekend...

a great story of how someone's life can turn to something that no one has ever expected...

yesterday ....

thursday....
another one died...
~R.I.P~ Juli

wednesday...
one died...
~R.I.p~ Riri

leaving just one survivor...
the winner is Julu...
yey....

talentime

panggung tak penuh pun ...
well, i'm not expecting it...
biasa la, citer yasmin ahmad mmg panggung tak penuh...

but then, it's worth it......
a simple story...
good one...
a lot of talented newcomers...

i will survive...

after rara and Jula left...

Juli, Julu and Riri lived happily....
hopefully they will survived and can sing the' i will survive' song while they swim....
uhuk uhuk...

sob..sob...

tuesday....

~R.I.P~
Rara and Jula

-Jula already dead-

-rara and Jula was being transferred to a' blue baldi' before "R.I.P ceremony"....

-di tanam dlm satu liang....
11.15 a.m.

ikan & me...

saturday...
Jiji die
Jiji ~R.I.P~
...leave out 13...
live in a red huge 'baldi'...

sunday...
only 6 left...
~R.I.P~
kiki, Kiko,Kuku,Juju,Jojo,Ruru,Riro

at night...
around 9.30 p.m...
transferred to medium size green 'besen'...
they can swimmed happily...
although, thay looked tired and 'lemah'..

monday...
another one died...
Jaja ~R.I.P~

leave out Jula, Julu, Juli, Rara, Riri
5 survived and alive...
live in a new home....
low-cost home $30.
opposite the junction of television...
next to the ferrari clubhouse...

today..

6.35 a.m
wake up and subuh prayer...
then, take a look at my nieces prepared to go to school..
nania: ati, later this evening, can u pick me up at school?
me: hmm, ok...just wait at the bus stop, ok?

7.15 a.m
pa'ah was watching cartoon..i pretty much join her..
but then, mata ni bagai di gam-gam..mengantuk la plak...
i continued sleeping ...Zzzz

10.45 a.m
bath..
eat coco crunch and milo...
me: nak milo tak?
pa'ah: adik suka milo...
me: nak milo tak?ati nak buatkan...
pa'ah: adik suka milo minum dgn kak una...

hehe...i guess she means 'no'....

11.30 a.m
exploring internet and accompanying pa'ah watching upin & ipin...
once in a while, she will show me her sketches with layang2, etc
eventhough, the sketches was so pretty and i couldn't managed to intepreted it...

1.00 p.m
fetching nania from school...
go to alam bacaria, where nania will look for comics n comics...hehe

hmm...sifu

it's been almost a week since i watched the concert....
the songs are still remain and played over and over again...
that mean, sifu has left wonderful memories to all its viewers...

"dalam aku ada dia dan dalam dia ada ... ada semua...."

'Sentuhan listrikmu'
'mentera semerah padi'
then, the second and third song touched through the hearts....simply magical...
'ada'

"satu dua tiga ...do re mi...apa nk jadi...alif ba ta abc...apa nk jadi ..akan terjadi..hujan pasti berhenti..."
-this song is full of messages that we can intepret ...

girls day out...way out...

28th of february 2009
10 a.m.
drive from sbn to KL...
sarah: "ko dah katne?"
me: 'hmm..aku baru nk gerak dari rumah la...c u later'

11.15
me: 'aku dah sampai kat rumah ko ni..'
sarah :"meh la naik"

12.00
mydin@summit usj
really huge mydin store...
me...window shopping...
raty has quite a list of things ..
guess mr.mydin should be proud bcos labuan people came to KL and spend some time at his store...


3.50 p.m
watch movie...
citer ape?at this moment,i seem to forget what was the title of the movie...
hmm...
ntah..
the punisher-war zone

7.00 p.m
dinner at pantai dalam...
nasi campur.tomyam..telur goreng..kailan ikan masin..kerang rebus..daging paprik..
air suam ...
sponsored by sarah--thanx sarah...

8.00 p.m
relax @ sarah's house

10.15p.m
@ 9th Rc ...
tgk gema tanjung's kompang practice...

12.15 p.m
tido...


1st of march 2009
6.30 a.m
send raty to KL sentral...
she has to catch up her 9.30 a.m flight to labuan...
sob..sob...
temankn dia mkn mcd

7.30 a.m.
@ A&w Taman jaya
breakfast with sarah...
nyum..nyum..

9.00 a.m.
boleh plak tido...
sarah masak nasi ayam...
i managed to help her cook in my dream..haha..

11.30
makan time...
nasi ayam dimasak oleh sarah..

12.30
tgk melodi...

2.00 p.m
muah..muah...
nak kene blah la....
thanx so much for all the hospitality...
drive from Flat PKNs-grand seasons...

sifu...

hmm...
i guess i wasn't a huge fan of him..

at first, i was a feeling abit of unsure...
that i finally was here...
'how am i supposed to be here .huh?'

the girl sitting next to me look like she and her friend are at the same age of me...
she really really enjoyed sifu's performance ...
she can sing at almost all of the songs...

the very beginning of me was suprised to be here...
then, i guess i pretty much enjoyed the performance too... big applause should be given to him...
although, i'm not quite familiar with some of the songs..

i have a pretty good time then...sing along with quite a number of songs...
mentera semerah padi...

sesuai dgn sifu..beliau mmg patut digelar sifu...
persembahan bertenaga...
mghiburkan...

"konsert alam m.nasir"
01 mac 2009
panggung sari, istana budaya

the pact

title: the pact
author: jodi picoult

the love story...
emily gold & christopher harte...
they live nearby..in fact, both of their parents have a close relationship...
augusta'gus' and melanie even shared their gossips and exchange stories about their everyday life...
gus was the one who helped deliver emily to the world...

it changed...when, chris was found unconcious and when emily was dead...
emily can't cope with the high expectation from her parents..she is pregnant and somehow unable to think right...
she was being haunted by her dark secret..
she got nowhere to turn to..being so in love with chris....
she spoke about her suicide attempt to chris...and hope that chris could help her to get rid with all her problems...

chris has a very promising future..
chris wanna help emily to help her with her problem..he is so in love with her and willing to support her in everything that she does...
chris wanna pretend that he will help emily with her suicide attempt and then, he will try to persuade em to save her life...
but then, when the time come..he was to afraid to hurt emily even more if he help emily to live...
so, emily was being shot..

tioman yang best..

my enjoyable vacation @berjaya hotel & spa resort,tioman,malaysia...

jambatan nak ke tempat tunggu van ke berjaya resort...

the view of the ocean from our ferry....

renggis island..


my second day
monkey bay-marine park-reggis island...

yey...on my way to monkey bay..
by boat...

far view of monkey bay...

this isn't me..but my sis struggling to get to the boat...
she nearly being left behind @monkey bay..when everyone else were already on the boat..haha..

@marine park..
the crystal clear water..
fishs happily swimming when my mum was throwing bits of bread into the ocean....

fishs..
banyak ikan yg besar...

@renggis island...
i managed to snorkel happily without my lifejacket...hehe..

@our hotel room...
the bed with red pillow is mine...

my huge feet ...

donkey ranch at berjaya resort..

a ride cost $25...
a picture of me with the donkey $zero...
hehe...

eve @tioman...

the other room...

: )

the small far island is the renggis island

duk bersila la pulak...
with my $3.90 slipper...

air pasang petang...
air pasang dalam surut pukul lima...
aku bangun pagi gosok2 mata..

the views of berjaya resort...

: D

sesuai utk gambar poskad...

the final day @tioman..

the nice breakfast...
well-done toast...it's not the hotel's fault..
my very own choice of toast..best!!
lagi hitam lagi best...nyum...

cantiknya awan itu...

: P

what so good about tioman..
my snorkeling time..
when i have my own sweet time of watching the fish..coral life..nudibranch..
the oyster..
the tenderness of holding the 'gamat'..
then,holding the clams..

seeing is believing..
see and touch and the whole underwater life is just 'wonderful'...

we went to monkey bay..
where the seawater is crystal clear...
wearing all the safety equipment..the goggle,fins,mask and life jacket..
the depth of the ocean is not quite far..
'cos i can see the underwater view quite clear...

then...our journey continues..
the marine park..
where i just stayed on our boat..

snorkeling @renggis island...best!!

baru balik...

just reached home...
been away for a couple of days...
away ...holiday at tioman island...best...
the view..the snorkeling...wonderful underwater view...
but then, sakit2 badan jugak lah akibat terlebih berenang masa snorkeling...
haha...
lenguh2 bahu, lutut, kaki...sumerlah..anggota badan yg bergerak akibat berenang...
it's worth it...

remember me

book review...
title: remember me?
author: sophie kinsella

lexi smart woke up and find out that she is 28...
which she really thought that she is still the same old lexi who is 25years old....
old Lexi is a simple girl, who work as ordinary people at flooring department...
she also known as snaggletooth...
She has a circle of close friends which is Caroline, Debra and Fi....

28 years old Lexi Garner married to 'loft-style living' ,Eric...
Lived in an incredibly big and high-tech home...
lexi is missing her 3years chunk of memory...
What Lexi really remembered was the day before her father's funeral...


Eric has his own marriage manual to help Lexi to recover her memory...
Her sister, Amy is a grown-up girl and pretty good at lying ....
Her husband, Eric is a handsome man...
But then, she finds out that she has a secret affair with Eric's right hand man, Jon...
She is not an ordinary girl at Flooring but the bitch-boss...
Everyone at the department hates her..

She was then help making up with her old friends and really wanna be a nice boss...
Then, she realize she can't do much to help her department from being closed...
She also soon realize that she changed to the bitch-boss when she entered a reality tv show...
her old life has totally changed...
she changed just because her dad left them with debts...

she then left the carpet company and open up a new company and asked her friends to joined in...
she also leaved Eric because she just can't stand being someone else and doesn't even remembered the day they were married...

She know believe that she somehow need to be happy and be as what she want to be..

A christmas sale at a shop kind of trigger a liltle bit of memory when a salesgirl show a shirt that she bought for Jon years ago...
When she hold the particular shirt she remembered a song..and start humming the song and led to Jon's house just to tell him that she has a liltle bit of her own memory back...
'Bad day' song was the song that brought Lexi back to Jon...
She known that deep inside she was really happy being with Jon...

cuti-cuti pictures...

these are the pictures of the cuti-cuti langkawi ...
second day onwards....
22nd january ....
mangrove tour..
tanjung rhu....

pantai tanjung rhu.....

the beautiful islands of langkawi...
the left island reminisce of our left thumb and index finger...

hutan paya bakau....


the green view of pokok paya bakau...
quite wonderful views of greens...
go green!

hole in the well...
it's not the 'frog in the well'..haha..
it is where the fishes are kept in the well...
feed the fishes, but not all kinds of fish...
the stingrays, coral fish..

feed the stingray...

monkeys...
these monkeys really can swim...
they swim to get some loaf of bread from our boat...

a monkey just jump into the river...
to get the bread...
let's call the monkey...'the bread-winner'....
hahaha...

nah,it get the bread to itself....to feed itself...
selfish little fella..

smile...
smile for travel miles and miles away...
yeehaa...

helang...
let's feed the 'helang'...
helang and langkawi...
a bit of history said that 'lang' is for helang...
then, 'kawi' is for the red boat that feed the helang...
hmm...i guess i heard it was like that...
wasn't quite sure about it actually...
hehee...

the helang coming out of nowhere...
they came when they heard the sound of our boat...
then, our tourguide gave slices of chickens' skin...
let the fat of that skins float and the 'helang' will grab them...
quite an exciting moments to actually see 'helang' flying and grab their food...

breezy ...
windy a little bit...
bouncing boat...
beauty at its best...

nice...

yeay...
snorkeling time...
just love it...
i can see the fish swimming happily...
and the human floating here was happy too..haha..
a little bit of coral life...
cantik....

makan time...
we have our dinner at a nice and shady restaurant...
our style..malay style..duduk bersila la pulak...

the next day...
23rd...

we went to machincang...
this is the entrance to the cable car...
i have been riding the cable car of couple years ago...
so, this time around, we were just spending some time to just bought some stuff from the stalls...

the langkawi falls...

awana porto malai...

24th of january...
agrotechnology park...
fruits and fruits...
guavas, bananas, markisa, barley, starfruits...

flying home...
sit at the emergency exit door...
in case of emergency, i might be the one to help open up this door...
hmm..

langkawi airport....